What is Dominance?
Every now and again, when I mention that I write BDSM, I get funny looks. Inevitably, the next thing I hear is, "Why would anyone get into that? Who wants to be bossed around? Especially in bed?"
Which is true. We associate getting bossed around with crabby older sisters, supervisors at work, and other unpleasant folks. Not really sexy ideas there.
Fortunately, BDSM isn't about getting bossed around. Instead, it's about letting go of control, giving it to someone else so that you are, in a sense, free. There are no decisions to make, because someone's making them for you. There's no guilt, because you aren't calling the shots. No self-consciousness, because again, someone else is making the call.
Imagine, if you will, a small tragedy. Someone got hurt, and is in the hospital. They're going to be okay, but you've had an emotional wringer of a day. You just want to stumble home, but there's so much to deal with.
Then some saint of a family member comes along. He tells you to go home. He'll handle the paperwork, and sit with the person that got hurt. You want to protest, of course, that you should do it all, because you'll feel guilty otherwise. But the look in his eyes stops you. Go home, he says. Go rest. I will take care of it. I'll carry the burden. You put it down for a while.
It's an extreme example, but it's right at the heart of Dominance and submission. In the above situation, the guilt has a chance to go away, as does the stress. Someone else is handling it. For just a little while, even just the couple hours it takes you to go and get some food and a hot shower, you don't have to worry.
Dominance and submission are about trust. You trust the other person not to ask, or do, anything that you wouldn't want to. You trust that they'll take care of you, make you feel good, and give you the chance to just let go. They aren't bossing you around. You're allowing them control for a short time, and you trust that they'll give it back.
It's called "power exchange". It can be sweet, intense, or very emotional, depending on what's agreed upon. And it's found in a lot of unexpected places, from BDSM books to urban fantasy. Werewolves have a certain element of Dominance to them, as do vampires.
Power exchange is what Meghan's Submission is about. A woman wants to let go, and trusts a man to give her what she needs. And a man wants to give her that freedom and take care of her. It's sweet, loving, and changes both their lives for the better.
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